So you know your husband is going to have a late night and you go to bed alone. That's nothing out of the ordinary. Last you heard, he would be home by 3 a.m. at the latest. But you wake up at 7 a.m. the next morning and he hasn't come home. You immediately call his cell phone and it goes straight to voicemail. Now what?
For me, the first time it happened, I went into panic mode. Where was my husband? Was he o.k.? Was he hurt? Had something bad happened? Who would call me if he was hurt? Better yet, who would I call to find out if he was hurt? I didn't have a phone number for his boss. Did I go to the ATF website and find a 1-800 number to call and see if anyone there could help me. I literally had no idea what to do and I was scared.
I called another agent's wife that I had become friends with and fortunately she had the phone number for our husband's boss. Once I got in touch with him, he stated that he would make some phone calls and get back to me. Long story short, the operation took a long time and they were in a rural community which didn't have cell phone service. He contacted the local police department they were working with and eventually they were able to radio to the guys to confirm that everyone was o.k.. The boss called me and assured me that everything was fine and he radioed my husband to call me as soon as he was in cell phone range.
Sigh! What a relief. To this day however, it's bothered me that there's not a phone list for agent's spouses. Who do you call when you fear something is wrong? As soon as my husband got home that morning, he gave me a list of numbers to store in my cell phone, but I've always felt that there should be a more formal process for ensuring that agent's families know who to contact in situations like that.
Admittedly, I handle situations like that much better now than I used to because I've dealt with it on numerous occasions, but the first few times you're confronted with it, it's scary. Again, I find myself wishing there was a better network of support for agent's wives.
I am not a wife but I am a girlfriend of one.....and this is seriously tricky! I find myself worried about safety and then come the insecurities....he is gone a tremendous amount of time and the silence gets to me. Any suggestions because I know I love him more than anything and I an going to drive myself and him crazy and possibly him away....
ReplyDeletePlease tell me you are not using your real name. As the adult child of a retired agent, my advice is stay private.
DeleteThanks for sharing! I'm a girlfriend of an FAA agent and his frequent travels overseas are already driving me nuts. Like you I thought there isn't much info available out there for agents' wives so I'm glad I found your blog. At least it gives me a glimpse of what our lives would be like if and when we tie the knot Lord willing. This is the first time I haven't heard from him completely in two weeks and I also wondered how on earth can I reach him or find him. He's never done this before. All my messages on Viber still remain unread. Unfortunately since I'm only a girlfriend I don't feel I have the right to do what you did, trace him to find out if he's okay. :( It's crazy but I really love him deeply.
ReplyDeleteI am a girlfriend of a federal agent in the uk should i expect the same as a federal agent girlfriend in the usa? Just asking
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